Seamus, an old friend and currently a part-time sailing teacher, writes, having read the ‘Bob & Cate’ post just beneath this one:
Read your post on “I’m not there”. Conclusion’s attractively dispiriting. But personally, I quite like the lodger idea, though I imagine myself still present as awareness after having opted out of myself. I often watch myself operating on auto-pilot, when my lodger is a well-mannered and predictable character actor. Sometimes the identity of my lodger is decided by my audience, when I contract my behaviour out to the actor they are expecting to see. Surprisingly wide range of actors get deployed – at the sailing club a harmless genial old buffer, when teaching the children a friendly old sea-salt with unfathomable knowledge and skill, for the charity whose computer support I do a dauntingly meticulous, rigorous, and reliable nerdy pedant. I don’t choose these actors, I just watch them walk on stage as the audience collects around me. I also sometimes amuse myself by interrupting the performance with a remark or action which is quite out of character.
08.01.2008