Further to my piece of the earlier instant, there are only two ways my sandwich could have infected Joe’s sandwich. The first way involves inter-sandwich contact, a scenario in which I place my meaty sandwich not merely on Joe’s plate but actually brush or collide with his lettuce sandwich. Beef atoms in the vicinity of the surface of the sandwiched beef are transferred to the surface of either the bread or the lettuce of the resident sandwich. it must be said, however, that lettuce atoms, in such a scenario, are also transferred to the surface of my meat. You don’t hear me whining about that, by the way.

It is, I will concede, possible that if the two opposed sandwiches were placed very very close to each other but not touching then atoms of beef might, willy nilly, ‘jump’ from one platform to the other. And vice versa, not that you’ll catch me snivelling about it. In the phenomenon of radioactivity, for example, we see hyperactive surfaces that can barely contain their vaporish exuberance. In the more depressed world of the placidly surfaced everyday item a more languorous local effervescence will take place.

But these fundaments of physics and chemistry should not be used as an excuse for Going Mad and shouting things like “But man, the whole Universe is vibrational! Everything is connected by wave forms in a continuum! Everything has its distinct wave form and this can be seen in its aura which you can see if you’re ready to see or happen to have a Kirlian camera! That’s why Jesus and the saints in paintings have plates behind their heads! They’re not plates! They’re their auras! That’s how spiritual they are! They’re giving it off! Like beef does!”

It’s not necessary to carry on like that.

23.11.2007